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Danville Enlightener VOL. VIII, No. 37
The Elders' WivesShe can usually be found long after services are over; sitting in a parked car by herself, or in the auditorium after everybody’s gone. She knows the loneliness of long evenings at home while her husband is out. There are many other things she experiences but these are a few of the all too common days in the life of an elder’s wife. Someone observed that “An elder’s wife must be as staunch as a rock, as busy as a beaver, as quiet as a mouse, as biblically informed as a preacher, as flexible as a rubber band, and as patient as a mother of triplets. She must know how to change her plans without notice, how to keep a meal hot and tasty for two hours after it was ready to serve, how to hold her temper – and her tongue – when people criticize her husband, and, most of all, how to use time profitably while she waits for her husband to get out of a prolonged conference.” The Bible reveals that the wives of both elders and deacons can – in fact – disqualify men from serving. “Likewise their wives must be reverent, not slanderers, temperate, faithful in all things,” (1 Tim 3:11). The domestic qualifications for men serving as elders are clear in Scripture, (the husband of one wife, a well ruled home, faithful children, 1 Tim 3:2,4; Titus 1:6). However, what often is not considered is the man’s wife. It must be remembered that the example of elders and their family relationship is crucial in leading and correcting and overseeing the local flock of God. The work of an elder is often colossal. Thus an elder needs a companion as dedicated to the cause of Christ as he is. She must be the embodiment of godliness and humble service. This
word
suggests
a
woman
who
is
discreet,
dignified,
quiet,
of
sound
judgment
and
not
frivolous.
She
must
be a
woman
who
takes
her
role
of
submissive
wife
and
mother
seriously.
This
will
be
seen
in
the
way
she
dresses,
the
language
she
uses
and
her W.E. Vine’s Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words says of the word used here, “accusing falsely . . . In 1 Timothy 3:11, where the reference is to those who are given to finding fault with the demeanor and conduct of others, and spreading their innuendos and criticisms in the church.” Any gossiper can wreak havoc in any church. This is why gossip is catalogued as a sin in the Bible (Prov 11; 18; 20; 26). But when the gossiper is the wife of an elder the damage can become catastrophic. While she might not know the details, she certainly knows who called her husband and who the elders have gone to see. Just imagine how the efforts of elders will be turned completely upside down and damaged by wives who slander, or who level inappropriate and ill-timed criticisms about the membership. This word describes an approach to life that is discreet, chaste, and moderate, having control of oneself and curbing one’s desires and impulses. This is the same qualification required of their husbands, who serve as elders (1 Tim 3:2; Titus 1:8). Elders, by reason of age, likely will have wives who are “older” as well. So, this makes Paul’s admonition in Titus 2:3-5 fitting here also. He wrote, “the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things—that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.” Her example, like that of her husband, will be observed and used as a model. And that being the case, she must be temperate in all aspects of her life. This requirement covers her faithfulness to the Lord in behavior, worship and teaching; as well as her faithfulness to her husband, morally, as a suitable helper, in obedience. God expects all women to be faithful in all things, but if a woman is still “working on” achieving this, then she isn’t yet the woman that an elder must have to be able to do his work effectively. Mike and I are honored to have wives that not only meet these “must” requirements, but who also offer to us immeasurable help and support in the work we do overseeing this congregation. Take a moment and tell them how much they are appreciated (Rom 13:7).
-- jrb
Mistreating
Parents
“He who mistreats his father and chases away his mother is a son who causes shame and brings reproach,” (Prov 19:26). Mistreatment of parents either emotionally or physically or by neglect is sinful. This phenomenon is nothing new; it has been a problem since before the Proverb writer addressed the matter. Paul touches on it when he wrote: “But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show piety at home and to repay their parents; for this is good and acceptable before God,” (1 Tim 5:4). Any parental abuse (verbal, emotional or neglect) is contrary to the command to honor father and mother (Eph 6:2). Those children who will not help elderly parents or who neglect those parents are mistreating their parents. Those children who think they can relieve their obligations to care for parents by throwing money their way but never visit are mistreating their parents. I have gone to see some elderly who live in marvelous assisted living homes paid for, in part, by their children who are mistreated. No, not by the staff but by their children; these lonely elderly get a card on their birthday and maybe a phone call, but not what they want – a visit. They sit for hours looking out an unfamiliar window searching for a familiar face. Adult children often are so entrenched in their own existence they never think to include parents. These parents are never invited to dinner, to social gatherings, this is mistreatment. Some elderly mothers will spend money they can’t afford to prepare meals they do not feel like preparing so their children will come for a visit. Shame on those children; they are mistreating their mothers. If you have mistreated your parents, repent of this while they are still living. Begin to honor them with your time and your presence; God demands it! -- jrb |