July 29, 2007

Did you read about the anger management instructor in Gary Indiana? The article about him said: “An anger management instructor is charged with domestic battery after his wife accused him of grabbing and beating her during an argument.” This man was a “Reverend” no less. The article continues, “Reverend Robert Nichols has taught anger management classes for defendants in Gary City Court for several years. His contract has been suspended while the charge against him is pending.”

When I read about that, I thought “What a total hypocrite!” Would you agree? A man who is supposed to be an epitome of self-control, one who teaches others how to manage their anger but then goes off on his wife is a hypocrite. I doubt that anyone would dispute the fact this man is a fraud – he claims to be able to manage anger and then commits battery on his wife in a fit of rage.

Paul wrote to those who “know His will, and approve the things that are excellent, being instructed out of the law, and are confident that you yourself are a guide to the blind, a light to those who are in darkness, an instructor of the foolish, a teacher of babes, having the form of knowledge and truth in the law,” (Rom 2:18-20). These are those who know sin when they see it. After addressing those who certainly know who they are, he then continues. “You, therefore, who teach another, do you not teach yourself? You who preach that a man should not steal, do you steal? You who say, do not commit adultery, do you commit adultery? You who abhor idols, do you rob temples? You who make your boast in the law, do you dishonor God through breaking the law?” (Rom 2:21-23).

He is making the point that if you are able to recognize sin in the lives of other, then do you equally recognize it when you do the same thing? If not, then he says, “For the name of God is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you,” (Rom 2:24).

While I was musing about the “Reverend’s” obvious sin, I thought of this text. We are Christians; this means that we are to be examples of self-control and anger management. “Self-control” is one of the virtues every believer is expected to add to his or her faith (2 Pet 1:5-6). It is a fruit of the Spirit according to Gal 5:23. Like the apostle I must “discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified,” (1 Cor 9:27). This means that I will be lost if I claim to be Christian and tell others what the Bible says but then do not practice self-control. Such behavior spells H Y P O C R I T E !

One of the most demanding aspects of genuine Christianity is practicing self-control. The reason men do not stop viewing pornography is because they refuse to rein it their urges. They lack self-control. The reason that children will not refrain from throwing temper tantrums is because they are not being taught the art of self-control by their parents. These children will eventually grow up to unleash a flurry of venom at anyone who “angers” them; an adult temper tantrum.

We have all seen adults who refuse to control their anger. Some are even filled with pride about their lack of self-control. “I really told him off, and I bet he will never do that again.” “She made me so mad I just couldn’t keep my mouth shut.” These professed believers are no different from the Gary, Indiana man who lectured others about self-control but then lost it.

“I believe in speaking what’s on my mind,” some believer proudly boasts. “I might as well say it as think it. If I am mad about what you did or what you said – I’m gonna let you know it,” he goes on. Let me ask; is that self-control or no-control? Is this godly wisdom or is it worldly foolishness? God says, “A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back,” (Prov 29:11).

Occasionally someone might do something to me intentionally or unintentionally. And it is a certainty that I will not like what happened; it might even anger me. But the Bible tells me to “Be angry, and do not sin,” (Eph 4:26). Instead of unleashing a barrage of rage against whoever has wronged me (thus committing sin), isn’t there a better response? “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone,” (Matt 18:15). Note it said to tell him not yell at him. It does not give me the right to vent my wrath, and give him a tongue lashing.

What would go a long way in helping in this would be the willingness to “take a wrong” (1 Cor 6:7). A Christian claims to be “like Christ,” then we should be like Him. My Lord was beaten, spit upon and mocked but yet he did not open his mouth in retaliation (1 Pet 2:21-23). I am told to follow His example in this. If I do not then I am behaving, well you guessed it, like “the anger management man” in Gary, Indiana.

-- jrb

The Anger Management Man