Danville Enlightener

VOL. VIII, No. 1

January 7, 2007

Turn Off the Spigot

“I just couldn’t do that. I could never turn my back on one of my own, I may not agree that what he is doing is right, but I’ll never walk turn him out.” These words or something similar have been uttered by grieving parents of rebellious children for centuries. Believe me, I can fully appreciate the tender sentiments behind them. It is as natural as breathing to be protective and supportive of children. It occasionally strikes us as unnatural to refuse help to a son or daughter when help is desperately needed.

A daughter, for example, decides to move in with her boyfriend. She rejects the godly counsel of parents and refuses to respect the teaching of Scripture. She and her “significant other” live in open fornication and demand, not only acceptance, but occasional financial help as well. They expect to be invited home for holidays and when they run short on rent money they expect dear old dad to fork over what is needed so they won’t be evicted. Mom and dad, fearful of “making matters worse” give in and accept the living arrangement and help with the rent when necessary. Mom laments: “I just can’t stand to think of her being put out on the street.”

Then there is the son who won’t work, won’t go to church and makes it plain he has no intention of changing. He spends his days sleeping and his nights on the computer or watching dirty movies with friends who dropped by with beer and pizza. He tells his mother not to enter his room. Yet he expects her to wash his dirty laundry that he tosses into the hall. Afraid that he will “leave home” mom and dad yield to his demands. They learned not to say anything because he will just go off with all kinds of profanity. “I don’t approve of what he’s doing, but he IS my son and I will never ask him to leave,” dad says.

What is a parent to do? Does the Bible offer any help? Yes!

Jesus tells us, “A certain man had two sons.  And the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the portion of goods that falls to me.  So  he  divided  to  them

his livelihood.” [Dad, I’m leaving home! I don’t want to be around you and mom anymore, and since I can’t wait for you to die, give me my inheritance now]. This father did not swallow his principles and beg this rebellious boy to stay home and bring in his godlessness.

“And not many days after, the younger son gathered all together, journeyed to a far country, and there wasted his possessions with prodigal living.” [He left home, shacked up with prostitutes and soon ran out of money]. The father remained at home and did not wire him any funds. This father “cut off the finances and the son had to scrounge around in order to keep living in his rebellion. He found it necessary to turn to his “friends” for help since dad wasn’t going to bail him out.

“But when he had spent all, there arose a severe famine in that land, and he began to be in want.  Then he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. And he would gladly have filled his stomach with the pods that the swine ate, and no one gave him anything.” [His “friends” did not care about him after his money ran out, so he had to get a job feeding pigs]. Welcome to real  life!

“But when he came to himself, he said, how many of my father’s hired servants have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger!  I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, father, I have sinned against heaven and before you, and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants.” [Now he is ready to come home, not for more money – because he knew dad was not going to turn on the flow again. Remember, dad had cut him off. So, instead of coming to dad for more money now he is repenting and getting his life straightened out]. Dad had the backbone to turn off the spigot.

What caused the son to come to himself and change his prodigal ways? This reading is taken from what is commonly called the Parable of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15:11-19, and we know the rest of that story. He came home and was welcomed back by a loving and forgiving father. But the question remains: What caused this son to come to himself and then come home?

If you say it was when he was living with the pigs – you are wrong. Being in the pig’s sty was not what caused him to come home. It was when “no one gave him anything” that caused him to come to himself. So long as anyone would funnel him money he would have remained in that far country. It was not about how low he got, it was that “no one gave him anything” that brought him to his senses. The moment his prodigal life was no longer financed by family or friends; when the spigot was turned off – “he arose and came to his father.” (Lk 15:20).

As parents, do we see any lessons here?          

   -- jrb

"Your Contribution and the IRS"

Regardless of whether Christians can claim weekly contributions as “charitable donations” when filing income tax returns, Christians are commanded by God to give (1 Cor 16:1-2). Our giving is an obligation and privilege despite what our government may or may not allow.

Changes in the tax laws for last year (2006) may affect some church members’ charitable donation deductions. The Pension Protection Act of 2006 requires recordkeeping for cash contributions. It requires that ALL cash contributions must be substantiated regardless of the amount.

In the past when cash contributions less than $250 were made, all the IRS required was a written record of the contribution. This is no longer allowed by the IRS.

The tax code has been amended to require all cash contributions, regardless of the amount, to be substantiated by either a bank record, such as a canceled check, or a written communication from the church showing the name of the church, the date of the contribution and the amount of the contribution. Unlike the past, written recordkeeping by the member will not satisfy the IRS.

-- jrb

 

"As I See It"

“A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back,” (Prov 29:11). Feelings in the NKJ Bible is a translation of the Hebrew ruwach (meaning a blast of air or anger). Thus, the wise man tells us that a fool gives full vent or shoots off his or her mouth about things that anger him or her. The wise, on the other hand, refrains from such talking, thus giving himself or herself time to think and give a reasoned comment.  “A fool’s wrath is known at once, but a prudent man covers shame,” (Prov 12:16).

There are things that are said or things that are done which cause blasts of annoyance, but wisdom dictates we not shoot off our mouth in response.  Ironically some pride themselves in their sharp tongues and quick wit. They seem to relish the fact they “fly off the handle” when things occur that are upsetting to them.  “Boy did I set her down!” “I sure let him have it!” This is not wisdom, it is foolishness. Everything does not need to be commented on.

For example, a husband need not pick apart, badger or in some way harass his wife because he had a “blast of anger” over something she said. Also, a wife need not pester or annoy her husband because he happened to do something causing her to experience a “blast of anger.” Not only is it foolish but it is destructive.

Wisdom demands that we keep our mouths shut when we become irritated at the crying child at the next table in the restaurant where we are having dinner. It is the wise man or woman who understands the intelligence behind remaining silent when someone has done something that caused anger to well up.  Are we sure the server, just to annoy us, gave us the wrong salad dressing? Sure, what was said would have been better left unsaid, but wisdom (good judgment) prevents me from “giving him a piece of my mind.” When circumstances or events cause blasts of anger to blow through, the fool will begin spewing forth verbiage inflicting harm, only to cause a war to erupt.

Families fragment because of fools, neighborhoods become war zones because of fools and churches split because of fools. AS I SEE IT, we could do with a lot more wisdom and a lot fewer fools.