Search The Scriptures: February 4, 2001
BAPTISM AND SECOND MARRIAGES
INTRODUCTION:
A. Good morning, my friends, and welcome to another broadcast of Search the Scriptures. On
behalf of the Danville church of Christ, which meets at 2849 East Main Street in Danville, I
say thank you for beginning your day with us. This morning we will be studying the subject of
second or third (or perhaps additional) marriages. More specifically, however, we will ask and
answer from the bible: “Does becoming a Christian permit one to remain in a second
marriage?” I believe this is both a serious and necessary question, because of the frequency of
divorce in our nation. Given present divorce statistics - nearly one half of all married people you
talk to about the gospel are in their second marriages; some even in their third or fourth
marriages. Is this something with which we should be concerned? And is it something we should
bring up to those with whom we are studying the bible? For the next several minutes we will
attempt to answer these questions from the scriptures.
B. In order to accomplish this, we must first note what God says when he created mankind and
instituted the first marriage. In Gen. 2:21-24 we read, the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall
on Adam, and he slept; and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then
the rib which the Lord God had taken from man he made into a woman, and he brought her to
the man. And Adam said: this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be
called woman, because she was taken out of man. Therefore a man shall leave his father and
mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. This was the first marriage
and God served as the officiant. Now, let’s fast forward to the time Jesus lived and preached on
earth when he was asked about a man divorcing his wife for any reason. In Matt. 19:3 the
Pharisees asked, is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason? In his response
Jesus referred them to Gen. 2:24 when he said in verses 4-5, have you not read that he who
made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, for this reason a man shall
leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?
Then Jesus continues in verse 6. So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what
God has joined together, let not man separate. My friends, what was the answer Jesus gave? He
said that God does not intend for any marriage to be broken by divorce. This is because divorce
is something God always despised. Mal. 2:16 reveals, for the Lord God of Israel says that he
hates divorce. However, Jesus did go on to say in Matt. 19 that there was one, and only one,
exception to God’s no divorce order. In verse 9 he said, whoever divorces his wife, except for
sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is
divorced commits adultery. After quoting from Gen. 2:24, Jesus made clear that no one was to
pursue and secure a divorce unless it was because of [for] sexual immorality; or as the King
James Version says, fornication. These words of Jesus are not easily misunderstood. He says
there is to be absolutely no divorce - with one exception - fornication. Fornication [or sexual
immorality] comes from the Greek word porneia. Porneia may sometime refer to premarital
sexual behavior - as is the instance in 1 Cor. 7:2 that says, nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let
every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. It is obvious that
fornication here refers to premarital sexual relations. But, fornication - can and often does -
include adultery, as can be seen in Rev. 2:21-22. In this passage Jesus says of an immoral
woman in Thyatira, and I gave her space to repent of her fornication; and she repented not.
Behold, I will cast her into a bed, and them that commit adultery with her into great
tribulation, except they repent of their deeds. Here it can be seen that when they were
committing fornication - they were committing adultery. Therefore, when Jesus said there was
to be no divorce with the exception of fornication [sexual immorality] - he makes it apparent
that a couple is not to divorce except for adultery. This means that couples who divorce for
incompatibility - or financial problems - or mental cruelty - or even physical cruelty are sinning.
Fornication (adultery - or marital infidelity) is the only reason one can scripturally secure a
divorce. Furthermore, it is only the innocent [non-adulterer] who then has a right to remarry. The
adulterer does not have a scriptural right to remarry. Matt. 19:9 says, whoever divorces his wife,
except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries
her who is divorced commits adultery. That is, if a man or a woman divorces for any reason
other than marital infidelity and marries another, he or she is committing adultery. And this is
true for the one who marries the divorced person. Jesus said in Matt. 5:32, but I say to you that
whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit
adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery. My friends, the
teaching of Jesus is graphic. If you are married and you divorce an unfaithful spouse you can
remarry without committing adultery. If, however, you divorce for any reason other than
adultery, and remarry you then are engaging in adultery, and so is the one to whom you are
married. Also, if you have never been married and you marry a divorced person (who was
divorced for a reason other than fornication) then you both are committing adultery.
I. Now, the world ignores this teaching without apologies. And because denominational
churches (for the most part) are fashioned by the morals of the world, they also dismiss this
teaching of Jesus and accept the standards of the world. And, sadly, even those who claim to be
New Testament Christians are now disregarding this teaching as well. Today it isn’t uncommon
to hear gospel preachers and others defend the position that a man or woman can divorce for any
reason, remarry unscripturally - thus entering into an adulterous relationship - then come to
Christ without discontinuing this relationship. Their efforts to prove such a position revolve
around two primary issues, which are completely entwined. These issues are (1) That Jesus’
teaching involves only those who are Christians. That is, when Jesus said one was not to divorce
for any reason - other than fornication. He was talking about only those who are Christians, and
not about non-Christians. Issue number (2) is that when one becomes a Christian then all those
marriages and divorces prior to becoming a Christian do not count, because all things are now
new, according to 2 Cor. 5:17, including marriage. Thus, allowing a Christian to remain in his
second - third - or fourth marriage. My friends both these proposals are false. Neither is taught
in the scriptures. When Jesus said in Matt. 19:9 whoever he meant just that: whoever. He did not
say whoever is a Christian, he said whoever and this includes those who are believers and those
who are not. What these who wish to make Matt. 19:9 a covenant passage (that is, a passage
applying only to Christians) fail to understand is, God rules over all men. Psa. 103:19 says, the
Lord has established his throne in heaven, and his kingdom rules over all. Does the Lord have
dominion over all men - or does he have authority only over Christians? The bible says he rules
over all. Also, when Jesus ascended into heaven he said in Matt. 28:18, all authority has been
given to me in heaven and on earth. This means the rule of Jesus extends beyond the bounds of
the church. He rules all men. Paul writes in Col. 1:17-18, and he is before all things, and in him
all things consist. And he is the head of the body, the church, who is the beginning, the
firstborn from the dead, that in all things he may have the preeminence. My friends, the rule of
Christ extends to every nation and to every person within those nations. Those who say Christ
has authority only in the church have basically said that God’s moral rule, or law, does not apply
to those who are not Christians. I ask these men: “Are you willing to say that God holds those
who reject his son to a different moral standard that those who receive him?” That is the heart of
the issue. These people are saying God holds people in the world to a lower standard of conduct
than he does people in the church. That is, the same behavior that is called adultery when a
believer commits it is excused when it is done by an unbeliever. If this is the case, then
unbelievers cannot be guilty of adultery - because this is something that can be committed only
by Christians. My friends, this is bogus! This conclusion says that non-Christians are not
responsible for keeping the law of Christ. That only Christians are amenable to the law of Christ.
A brief reading of one text will prove this contention to be false. Paul said to Gentile Christians
at Corinth in 1 Cor. 6:9-11, do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom
of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor
homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor
extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were
washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by
the Spirit of our God. The key here is the brief phrase, and such were some of you. This tells us
that these Christians had been guilty of the things listed in this text. Some of the sins he listed
were, thievery and covetousness. But he also said some of these had been guilty of adultery.
Whose law did they violate that made them guilty of adultery? It wasn’t the law of Moses,
because according to Deut. 5, the law of Moses had never been given to the gentiles. And it
certainly wasn’t Roman law under which they lived. Adultery was not only tolerated, but often
encouraged. My friends, the truth of the matter is, these Corinthians before becoming Christians
were guilty of adultery because they were subject to the law of Christ. Paul said in 1 Cor. 9:20-
21, and to the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might win Jews; to those who are under the law,
as under the law, that I might win those who are under the law; to those who are without law,
as without law (not being without law toward God, but under law toward Christ), that I might
win those who are without law. Now, all men and women are under the law of Christ. God does
not have one standard of behavior for believers and one for unbelievers. The law (or authority)
of Christ reaches everyone. What is adulterous behavior for the believer is adulterous behavior
for the unbeliever. Ladies and gentlemen, God’s moral law rises from the very nature of God.
The righteousness of God is everlasting; it does not change. Psa. 97:2 says, righteousness and
justice are the foundation of his throne. So therefore, he shall judge the world with
righteousness, and the peoples with his truth, according to Psa. 96:13. And this righteous
standard of truth to be used at judgment will be the teaching of Christ. Jesus said in Jn. 12:48, he
who rejects me, and does not receive my words, has that which judges him; the word that I
have spoken will judge him in the last day. Now, what this all means is, everyone living today is
under the authority of Christ. And, his teaching on marriage and divorce is applicable to
Christians and non-Christians alike. Marriage with a second spouse when divorce has not been
for the cause of fornication is adultery for Christians and for non-Christians.
II. “But,” someone says, “I thought when we are converted all our sins are forgiven, including
the sin of adultery.” Ladies and gentlemen, whenever one is converted to the Lord, he or she is
forgiven of every sin. This is true whether it’s homosexuality, murder or adultery. Remember the
passage we considered earlier in 1 Cor. 6:9-11. Listing the sin of adultery, Paul told them that
they had been washed, sanctified and justified. That is, they had been forgiven of the sin of
adultery. But forgiveness is not the issue. The issue is not, will one be forgiven of adultery? The
larger and more important question is, “May one continue in an adulterous relationship after he
is converted?” Those who say yes, will cite passages such as 2 Cor. 5:17 that says, therefore, if
anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have
become new. They conclude that having been forgiven - they then can remain in the marital
relationship they are in when converted, because the old relationship of adultery is now a new
one of sacredness. They conclude the conversion has made this relationship new. What this fails
to consider is repentance is an absolute essential before any forgiveness of sins ever occurs.
Paul said in Acts 17:30 that God now commands all men everywhere to repent. The bible tells
us that repentance is a necessity before one is baptized. Acts 2:38 says repent, and let every one
of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins. Now, do not miss this
important point - my friends. Repentance is required before one will be forgiven. To put it
another way, if one is unwilling to repent, then he is unconverted and unforgiven. Without
repentance, one’s baptism is nothing more than dousing in water. Jesus said in Lk. 13:3 that
those who do not repent will perish. That is, they will be eternally condemned. Repentance
involves more than merely being sorry for having sinned. Repentance requires stopping the sin.
The root idea of repentance is change. For example, in the Old Testament, men were told by
God in Ezek. 18:30, repent, and turn from all your transgressions. This means they were to
stop committing the sins, from which they were turning. They were to stop participating in their
sinful acts. As we reach the New Testament, we learn the meaning of repentance has not
changed. It still means to turn away from, and stop committing sinful deeds. When we consider
what John told those seeking to be baptized by him, we can understand better the essence of
repentance. In Lk. 3:8 we find John saying, therefore bear fruits worthy of repentance. Now we
- by considering the passage in Ezekiel - know this means to turn away from and stop doing what
is sinful. But, these people didn’t recognize what John meant so they asked him in verse 10.
What shall we do then? John then told them what they must do in order to truly repent. Verse 11
says, he who has two tunics, let him give to him who has none; and he who has food, let him
do likewise. That is, those of you who have plenty and have not shared your wealth, you begin to
do so. To the publicans - who were legal extortionists he said in verse 13, collect no more than
what is appointed for you. That is, in order for the tax collectors to repent, they had to stop
extorting money from the people. In Acts 26:20 we find that when people repented they turned
to God. The verse reads: that they should repent, turn to God, and do works befitting
repentance. Whenever there is no change of conduct there has been no repentance. That is, those
who continue committing sin have not repented. Rev. 9:20-21 is very enlightening on this point.
It says, but the rest of mankind, who were not killed by these plagues, did not repent of the
works of their hands, that they should not worship demons, and idols of gold, silver, brass,
stone, and wood, which can neither see nor hear nor walk. And they did not repent of their
murders or their sorceries or their sexual immorality or their thefts. Those who had not
repented continued committing murder; they continued to practice sorceries, and they continued
to commit sexual immoral acts (whether adultery or premarital sexual behavior). Now what does
this have to do with the question of whether one can continue in an unlawful second, third or
fourth marriage after becoming a Christian? Well, frankly, it’s the heart of the question.
Repentance requires ending the sin or sins from which one repents. Before becoming a Christian
if one is a thief he cannot continue to steal. If he repents, he stops his stealing. If before
becoming a Christian one is an idolater, he must give up his idols. He cannot any longer honor
them as deities. If before becoming a Christian one is a drunkard, he must stop this way of life.
He cannot continue to be a drunk. He must turn away from this sin. If before becoming a
Christian one is a homosexual, he cannot continue in this. Having repented, he must now stop
committing acts of homosexuality. Even if he had been married in some church sanctioned or
state sanctioned ceremony, he still could not remain in that homosexual “marriage.” If he does,
he has not repented. If the thief refused to stop stealing, he also has refused to repent. If the
idolater does not give up his idols, he has not repented. If the drunkard does not give up his
alcohol, then he has refused to repent. I believe anyone can understand this. Well, what about
adultery? Can an adulterer continue to engage in adultery after becoming a Christian? No! If he
has repented (which is a prerequisite of being baptized according to Acts 2:38) then he no longer
can continue in the adulterous relationship. Repentance requires ending the sinful practice or the
sinful relationship. The apostle Paul expresses surprise that anyone could think otherwise in 1
Cor. 6:9-11 (a text we noted earlier). There, he said in part, do you not know that the
unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators . . .
nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, . . . will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of
you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the
Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God. Here he says: Don’t you know adulterers will not go
to heaven? Then he said, and such WERE some of you. Those who had been adulterers could
only be forgiven (justified) when they repented and stopped committing adultery. The question is
not whether God will forgive the sin of adultery - he will. The question is will God forgive it
when it is not repented of - he will not. There are no sins God will forgive without a sinner first
repenting. This means, my friends, as hard as it is to accept, that some are going to have to end
these adulterous marriages in order to become Christians. Some demand “Show me an example
of a couple being told to separate before being baptized.” To which I respond, “All I need to
show is where one was told to repent before baptism.” This isn’t something new. As a matter of
fact God has always demanded men give up sinful marriages. In Ezra’s day, men who repented
of entering sinful marriages put away their unlawful wives according to Ezra 9-10. In John’s day
he told Herod that he had to cease having Herodias as his wife. Mk. 6:18 says, Herod, it is not
lawful for you to have your brother's wife. It might be true that the context of what made these
marriages sinful is not what we are discussing today. But the solution involving repentance is the
same, which is ending the unlawful relationship. I acknowledge that with the soaring divorce rate
of today, this position makes men highly unpopular. But I would rather be despised by men, and
remain loyal to the teaching of the New Testament. My friends, baptism (or conversion) does not
sanctify an unholy relationship. It does not make clean the unclean. Rather, it provides
forgiveness for the sinner - if he has repented. Do not be bamboozled into believing that the
unlawful second marriage is no longer adultery simply because one has been baptized. Nowhere
in the bible do we find where baptism dissolves all past relationships - it doesn’t. If an act is
adultery before baptism it is still adultery after baptism. Put in slightly different words, if
something is sinful before baptism that same something is sinful after baptism. If taking
something that doesn’t belong to me is stealing before baptism - what is it after baptism? It’s
stealing. If sex between two men before baptism is homosexuality, then what is that same act
after baptism? My friends, it is still homosexuality. If having a second spouse is adultery before
baptism, then what is it after baptism? Some say it is a lawful marriage, but if it was adultery
before conversion, it continues to be adultery after baptism.
III. There are some who assume the apostle Paul allowed for men and women to keep their
second spouse in 1 Cor. 7:20, when he said: let each one remain in the same calling in which
he was called. They think Paul is saying: “If you are in your second or third marriage and you
are converted then don’t worry about it. Just remain in that relationship.” But, my friends, this
is NOT what Paul is saying. He says that in which we are to remain is a calling. And it means
the vocation God has allotted us. The context shows clearly he refers to being either a slave or a
freeman. Either being married or unmarried, being a Jew or a gentile. That is, the context of 1
Cor. 7:20 is that God called some to be married and some to be single, some to be slaves and
some to be free. And, if they were saved as a freeman or as a slave, just remain as you are. It
does not change your relationship with God. It does an injustice to God to make this passage
refer to adultery. It suggests God calls some people to second or third marriages, but this is not
true. God says one man for one woman for life. If this passage authorized a man to stay with his
second wife (or a woman to stay with her second husband) when the divorce was not for the
cause of fornication. Then it would also allow for a man to remain as he is - even if he is in a
homosexual marriage - or in a polygamous marriage. “But doesn’t all in 2 Cor. 5:17 - as in all
things have become new - mean all?” I caution you not to prove too much with the word all. All
might mean all, but it does not include everything. That is, all must be understood within its
scriptural context. Verse 18 says, now all things are of God, but this does not mean sin and
temptation belong to God. All [good] things are of God, not everything evil. Also, 1 Cor. 6:12
says, all things are lawful for me, but Paul did not mean to suggest that murder, homosexuality,
child abuse and heroin addiction are lawful. Even though all means all, it does not mean
everything. All [right, good and permissible] things are lawful for me, not everything under the
sun. And in this way, my friends, when Paul says all things have become new, he is not saying
that everything is now sanctioned behavior, including adultery and homosexuality. He speaks of
a new man being clothed with new things such as what he writes in Eph. 4:22-24 that you put
off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the
deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man
which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness.
CONCLUSION:
A. Jesus said in Matt. 19:12, for there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's
womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who
have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He who is able to accept it,
let him accept it. That is, those who accept it - are those willing to admit that they must live a
celibate or unmarried life in order to be saved.
B. Our time is up for today, be sure to stay tuned for some important closing announcements.
And please join us next Sunday morning at 7:00 as we again Search the Scriptures. Until then,
this is J.R. Bronger saying goodbye for now.